(no subject)

I want to take off, disconnect, eject, escape.

Dont want to be here, now, ever. Just want to get away and disappear. Drop off the face of the earth and run until no one knows me anymore. I want to be a strange face in a foreign crowd because I never fit in here and I'd never fit in anywhere, but at least I'd have a reason.
I dont want a career, I dont want to settle anywhere. I dont want to be Mrs Anybody. I want to be free. I want to answer to no one but myself and do anything everything I want to do. I've spent my entire life watching people around me be tethered and coerced into doing things they didnt want. My mother was in an abusive relationship for over ten years, and for what? "For the kids," Bullshit. Bullshit. I've watched my sister and her husband boyfriend fiancee whatever they're calling him now and fuck if she's not a sad sight sometimes.

Im living a dream right now. I sleep for as long as I want to, eat what I want, am responsible for no one and answer to no one. Wouldnt trade what I've got for the world. Sure, it sucked for a while, then you realize what you have and for the first time, I have a pretty realistic view of what I've got now, and not after it's long gone.

It takes all different sorts of people to run this world. We need people of every walk of life to make this experiment happen. We need actors and writers and laywers and hairstylists. We need burger flippers and we need garbage men. And we need drifters and that is who I'll be.

I dont have to live up to anyones expectations but my own.