[and i] :: BREAK DOWN ::

It's high time that I posted about Anime North.

This was supposed to be a fun weekend with two friends and a parental unit. It was supposed to be my break from drama. My chance to have one weekend where I could just have fun.

Clearly I should have known better.

Friday I woke up at 7. Dyed my hair, shaved my legs, dressed up, dressed down, dressed up again. Packed my bag, repacked it. Called Vincent at 9:30, told me to be ready for 1. Took a nap. Woke up, sat downstairs. 1:30, called again, Steph says be ready for 3. 3 Rolls around, Steph texts says 3:30, 4. The con opens at 5. Hrm. 4:30 rolls around, says be ready by 5. I've been ready since 1. Sitting around, doing nothing. They show up at 5:15. We're out of the cty by 5:50.

The drive is uneventful. We stop at the same station I stopped at on my way to wonderland last summer. So long ago. I was with my sister then. That trip was equally unpleasant. At the station, I told Vincent about me. Who I am. He took it okay. We got to Toronto, got to the Hotel. Told Steph. She seemed less enthusiastic about it. Gave the super condensed version to the Mother thing.

Changed clothes, drove back to the Con. We were too late, go figure, so we couldnt get back in. They ran into some of their friends and got to talking. A circle formed. I ended up not being in it. Didnt get a word in edgewise for 40 minutes. Eventually had to muscle my way into the conversation. Was excluded again. Stood off to the side. Two of the girls felt sorry for me and came over. We called it the Reject Circle. I told them my name and it felt right when they said it. Not like when Steph and the Mothing Thing said it. Ran into someone I went to school with. He didnt recognize me. That's okay.

Went back to the Hotel eventually. Stayed up on the internet for a while. Shared a bed with Steph. Cue being very uncomfortable.

Woke up far too early, sick as a dog. Woke up early enough that some people hadnt logged off for the night. Thank goddess for time shifts. Felt a bit like crap, but was determined to have a good day. Dressed in my favourite skirt and skeleton shirt. Wandered to the lobby, got some free breakfast, mmmm, danish. Ran itno a guy, got chatted up. He said he bought an awesome Kingdom Hearts sword, did I want to see it? Sure. Went to his room, saw his sword. Got his e-mail. He asked if I wanted to watch TV or something, uhm, no thanks. Bai! Helped paint Vincent and get him into his costume. Drove with Steph, Mother Thing and myself to the con. Got registered, Mother Thing and I went over to wait in line for the Brunch, Steph ditched to go pick up Vince.

Sat in line at the Brunch for a while. Tweeted some. Saw a Rorschach cosplay, (Watchmen; Not anime.) squee'd. Got annoyed at people. Was introduced to The Littlest Cancer Patient. Eventually got in, the food was good. Still just me and the Mother Thing. Eventually Steph caught up.

Spied Yuri Lowenthal from across the room. For those of you not in the know, Yuri Lowenthal is part of the entertainment tag team that saved my life. His characterization and voice acting of Haseo in .hack//G.U. gave me great comfort. I was obsessed with those games, and it, and the music of Emilie Autumn got me through a hard time. For those of you in the know, you'll know that when those methods werent enough, I got into Heroes. Pop Culture saved me. But I digress.

I squee'd a lot, and when I finally got to see him, I asked for an autograph, a hug, and a picture. Which he was cool with. He gave me an awesome, firm hug, and I loved it. And he goes "What should I write in your book?" And I go "Oh, how about something like 'Maybe I should log out and check my e-mail.'" And he started laughing, says "Do you know how many times I had to say that? That and 'SKEEEEEITH.'" And I told him that I often say, in real life, 'Guess I'll log out and check my e-mail..." Which he thought was really funny.

Then I told him how important his work was to me, and that it really helped me in a dark time, and he got all misty eyed and said that sometimes he thought he was juszt goofing around and having fun, but it really meant a lot to him when he had a positive effect on someone. And I got another hug. And another picture. And I geeked out. And I went back for more later. And we had a conversation about Twitter, which was win. "You had better be on Twitter!" "Oh my god, I'm such a terrible twitterer. I tweet like, once a month." "Man, I tweet like, once every three seconds." "You're a great Twitterer!" "I'm a Twidiot!" "xDDD"

I also met Vic Mignogna, which, he came off as ten times more impersonal than Yuri, so disappointment, but he signed my datebook, which was cool, and took a picture with me, which was nice of him. He's nothing if not charismatic.

The day then proceeded to decline from there. Freshly off my Yuri High, Steph ditched me to hang with her mother unit. When she came back, she tried to ditch again, and I said "Stephanie. I'm not interested in spending time with your mom." So she, the Mother Thing and I went into the main building. Steph and I went to the Artist's room, where she promptly walked away, so whatever. I walked around a bit, bought some Final Fantasy buttons for my purse, then went over to the Dealers room.

Had a lulzy exchange where I was looking through a poster bin next to three cute Indian boys, and one of the boys pulls out a poster of Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII, and the cutest of them exclaims "Man, Lightning is hot." And I piped up "Yes she is!" And he goes "OMG, THAT IS SO RAD! HIFIVE!" So I hifived him. A little more browsing, and I pulled out a poster of Chii and Freya, and he goes "Can I see that?" So I let him see it, and he's contemplating buying it, when I nip it right from his hands and cheerfully exclaim "I'll take this one, please!" And his buddies go "OH DOOD. YOU JUST GOT OWNED." And he goes "What's your name?" "Max!" "Max, I hate you." "So, you liked me when I thought Lightning was hot, but you dont like me because I think Chii and Freya are hot? Hee!"

Walked around the buyers room. Picked up some more posters. Picked up some Chobit ears, which I think are adorable, and I didnt stop wearing them the entire time. Eventually I located Steph, and she proceeded to ignore me entirely. Quite a feat when she was on her own and I was at her elbow. Eventually I convinced her to help me find Vincent.

On the way, we ran into some of her friends, so we stood there, and stood there, and stood there, even though I requested for us to move a bit to some shade so I wouldnt burn up and have a reaction ("Go over there yourself, we're gunna stay here.") and even though we might miss meeting up with Vince. About an hour later, we were on our way again. Except we stopped to see a Television crew. Half an hour later, we made it over to the hotel opposite the con, and way around into the parking lot where the Kingdom Hearts photoshoot was happening. I got a hi in before Vince was distracted by other friends. Steph and her friends Priscilla and Sam walked off to one of the small tree's affording the only shade for the clearing. I walked over, and asked if they could scoot over a bit so I could get some shade, as I was starting to feel sick from all the sun. I was told to find another three. The next tree also had a bunch of people under it, so I ended up some 100 feet away under a third tree, completely segregated. I ended up putting on my headphones under the ears and listening to music for an hour. I was pretty distraught at this point, so I checked my e-mail on my phone, only to find three comments on my latest livejournal proclaiming overwhelming support for me.

I cried. I sat under a tree and cried. When I was finished I fixed my make up, and noticed that the crowd has dispersed, so I walked back over. Sat down, was ignored. Eventually Vince and Steph decided to walk off, so an Anti-Sora cosplayer, Priscilla and myself followed. Priscilla kept giving me these sad looks like she knew I was being excluded, but didnt want to make a point of it. I just shrugged. I kept with them because Anti-Sora couldnt see through her mask and Priscilla had to hold her hand to help direct her.

Over the course of the walk, people kept wanting to take pictures of Priscilla and Anti-Sora, so we got waay behind Steph and Vince and their friends. They didnt even notice. Eventually we caught up to them. Anti-Sora ran into a friend, and Priscilla and Sam decided to go off on their own. Steph and her friend Jackie went to go register for the Dance, and even when it was just Vince and I, I was ignored some more. We went into the dealers room, and he ran into some friends. Within minutes, they were twenty feet ahead of me, I was stucked behind a crowd, and they didnt even notice. So I toured, and checked out the artists room. I commissioned two drawings, one with was cute, but I lost, and the second I never managed to pick up.

Around 7:20, Steph called telling me to meet them somewhere, they were going back to the hotel for a minute, and that we'd come right back. So I went along. I was absolutely starving. I hung out on the computer while Vince washed off all the body paint. Steph cam back, and drove us back to the con, dropped us off at Tims. I was hugely starving, standing in line waiting for food, and there was one table left in the place, so I suggested someone who wasnt ordering anything huge, as Priscilla and Sam met us there, go save the table. I was asked to do it. Frustrated, tired, hungry as fuck. Eventually they all came back and suddenly the line exploded. And someone, cant remember who, asks why I didnt order anything. Fuck it. Stood up, toured, brushed past Steph, walked around, sat down, cried. Called mom. Cried more. Got off the phone, headed back to tims for food. Passed right by them on the way and they didnt even see me.

Ate some food (Tims chili rocks my life, no joke.), then decided fuck it. It was 9 oclock, and I wasnt going to sit ther and wait for 2 when the dance ended and Steph decided to drive me home. No one told me that I had to register for the dance, so I couldnt get in even if I had wanted to. So I walked. The five to seven clicks from the Con to the Hotel. In a miniskirt. My thights absolutely burned, my feet hurt, my head ached, I was pissed off. Got back, and somewhere circa 10:30, 11, Steph calls. "Where are you? You just kinda walked off." "I'm at the hotel." "How did you get there?" "How the fuck do you think? Me and my miniskirted ass hoofed it." Click. I then proceeded to spend even more time with their mom. The obnoxious woman was watching some comedy gig, guffawing her face off, so I put on my headphones extra loud and talked to my friends.

Around 1, Vincent came back, cralwed into the bed that the mother thing wasnt occupying. Uh-oh. This would mean that I get to bunk with a teenage boy or a women who gives me the wig in a big way. Eugh. Steph got back around 2:30. Asked if I was okay. Fuck off. Crawled into bed with Vince. Fml.

Around 3, I wandered to the lobby, ran into sword guy, got some more danishes, back to the room. Made a few more trips for tea, and circa 4:30-5, went to bed. In the chair. Woke up late, got ready, got my stuff together.

Steph drove herself, Vince, and I to the con. I was out of the car before they'd even parked. Spend the entire day in the dealers room and the artists room. Got the second pic I comissioned, picked up some more posters and such, it was kind of nice, got old in a hurry. Called mom a few times, obsessed over twitter. Just wanted the day to be done. Eventually I was waiting by the car, absolutely crisping in the sun, twenty minutes after they said we were supposed to leave. Leaving Toronto at rush hour on a sunday. Yeah, whatever. We werent going to make good time unless we left right then. I get a call. Come to the back of the building. So I did. Vince and Steph were doing their Tales of Vesperia photoshoot. I attempted to find some shade, and huddled in the half shade that I found next to Ashley, who was at the Reject circle on Friday. I gave her my facebook, and about fourty minutes later, its time to go.

I fall asleep in the car, unwilling to handle the talking. I wake when Steph and the Mother Thing switch places. Stephanie is a terrible driver. I cant get back to sleep the entire drive. My cell phone is dead, my iPod is dying. When we get back to town, it's all I can do not to just grab my tote and bus hope. But I get home, and I stay up and feel better with my puppy and my friends.

Lesson learned. I'm going to not do things like this again. It's just impossible for me to go and not be ignored. The same thing happens every time I try to have fun, so I just wont.