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I cant believe it.
Yesterday Will broke up with me.
And for what?
Let me go back. Apparently a week or so ago, Laurel told Will she liked him, and he likes her back.
For the past two months I've watched my relationship crash in slow motion. He began spending more time with her than with me. I felt like a third wheel in my own relationship. And then she springs this shit? Tell me, what makes this okay? What fucked up rationality says that it is alright to tell your best friends boyfriend that you like him.
And now? I have to live with the boy I'm so madly in love with, while I cant touch him or hug him or kiss him.
And for what, Laurel?
I feel so betrayed now. I'm up at 4:30 because I havent slept yet. Because I've been crying in my mothers room because Will is downstairs on the fucking couch sleeping.
Laurel, My trust in you is severely diminished. I dont think you know how much you've hurt me. My heart is broken and all I can do is sit here. For christ sakes, after you sprung this nonsense on me, you two watched a fucking movie like I wasnt there about to break.
It isnt all Laurel's fault, I suppose. Will wanted to have two relationships. That cant happen. "Well, I kinda thought that I could like you AND someone else." No, honey. Thats not how relationships work. So instead of picking one over the other, he picked neither.
I'm so mad at Laurel. Why did she do this to me? She had a crush on him, big deal, it would have been easy enough to get over if she tried. If not, she could have at least stayed quiet. Bowed out on the occasion of her friend deeply in love.
To be honest, I want to march over to her house and punch her in the face. But I also dont want to lose her as a friend, no matter how much I feel betrayed right now. So tomorrow (today) I'm going to tell her that all social visits are cut short to the point of the play for drama. We will get this done, then thats it. Maybe she can win my trust back, maybe she cant. And now I've lost the person I love.
I loved him so much. I've never felt such a burning desire to bite the bullet for someone elses happiness. All I ever wanted to do was take all his pain and hurt and unhappiness away, and all I could do was fuck up. I could only ever get him angry or cause him pain. And now I've got the ultimate hurt. I'll see him every day, and never be able to hold him again.
Yesterday Will broke up with me.
And for what?
Let me go back. Apparently a week or so ago, Laurel told Will she liked him, and he likes her back.
For the past two months I've watched my relationship crash in slow motion. He began spending more time with her than with me. I felt like a third wheel in my own relationship. And then she springs this shit? Tell me, what makes this okay? What fucked up rationality says that it is alright to tell your best friends boyfriend that you like him.
And now? I have to live with the boy I'm so madly in love with, while I cant touch him or hug him or kiss him.
And for what, Laurel?
I feel so betrayed now. I'm up at 4:30 because I havent slept yet. Because I've been crying in my mothers room because Will is downstairs on the fucking couch sleeping.
Laurel, My trust in you is severely diminished. I dont think you know how much you've hurt me. My heart is broken and all I can do is sit here. For christ sakes, after you sprung this nonsense on me, you two watched a fucking movie like I wasnt there about to break.
It isnt all Laurel's fault, I suppose. Will wanted to have two relationships. That cant happen. "Well, I kinda thought that I could like you AND someone else." No, honey. Thats not how relationships work. So instead of picking one over the other, he picked neither.
I'm so mad at Laurel. Why did she do this to me? She had a crush on him, big deal, it would have been easy enough to get over if she tried. If not, she could have at least stayed quiet. Bowed out on the occasion of her friend deeply in love.
To be honest, I want to march over to her house and punch her in the face. But I also dont want to lose her as a friend, no matter how much I feel betrayed right now. So tomorrow (today) I'm going to tell her that all social visits are cut short to the point of the play for drama. We will get this done, then thats it. Maybe she can win my trust back, maybe she cant. And now I've lost the person I love.
I loved him so much. I've never felt such a burning desire to bite the bullet for someone elses happiness. All I ever wanted to do was take all his pain and hurt and unhappiness away, and all I could do was fuck up. I could only ever get him angry or cause him pain. And now I've got the ultimate hurt. I'll see him every day, and never be able to hold him again.